Your best friend has seen you at your worst. They held your hair, they know every ex by full name, and they would help you move a couch at 11pm. A gift card is not going to cut it. They deserve something that makes them laugh out loud, then actually gets used.
Here are our favorite funny birthday gifts for the friend who gets your sense of humor, plus a few combos that make it look like you planned this weeks ago.
Short on time? Start here.
1. A candle that says it for you
The Happy Fucking Birthday Candle does exactly what the label says. The scent is Vanilla, Cream and Sugar, sweet like they think they are. Like all our candles it is a coconut-soy candle, made in-house in the USA, and it burns about 30 hours in the 4 oz jar or about 60 hours in the 8 oz.
2. A candle that matches their personality
Every friend group has the same cast of characters. Pick the jar that fits yours:
- The one who walks in like they own the place: I’m Fucking Fabulous Candle (Feelin’ Peachy).
- The one who hypes you up no matter what: You’re The Tits Candle (Mango and Coconut).
- The one who takes zero crap from anyone: Badass Bitch Candle (Patchouli, Cedarwood and Orange).
- The one turning 30, 40 or “we don’t talk about it”: Fucking Over It Candle (Sweet Orange, Coconut and Passion Fruit).
I'm Fucking Fabulous CandleFeelin' PeachyFrom $14.99
You're The Tits CandleMango · CoconutFrom $14.99
Badass Bitch CandlePatchouli · Cedarwood · OrangeFrom $14.99
Fucking Over It CandleSweet Orange · Coconut · Passion FruitFrom $14.993. A card they will keep on the fridge
Our greeting cards are not the kind that go straight in the recycling. Every card comes with a removable crystal penis keepsake (Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Obsidian, Tiger’s Eye and more). Yes, really. They arrive gift-ready in a clear cello sleeve, no envelope needed.
For birthdays, Rock Out With Your Cock Out and Big Dick Energy are the crowd favorites. If they have a big year coming, Pocket Penis Rub Me & Make A Wish lets them rub for luck.
Rock Out With Your Cock OutFunny Birthday Card$6.99
Big Dick EnergyFunny Adult Birthday Card$6.99
Pocket Penis Rub Me & Make A WishGood Luck Card$6.994. A sticker for their water bottle
Stickers are the easiest add-on in the world. Ours are waterproof, weatherproof vinyl, so they can handle spills, rain and life on a water bottle or laptop. Slip one in with a candle and you have a gift with a bonus round.
Happy Fucking Birthday StickerBirthday Humor Decal$2.99
Badass Bitch StickerFeminist Empowerment Decal$2.99
You're The Tits StickerFunny Thank You Gift$2.99Build the birthday bundle
The classic
Happy Fucking Birthday Candle + Rock Out With Your Cock Out card + Happy Fucking Birthday Sticker.
The hype squad
You’re The Tits Candle + Big Dick Energy card + You’re The Tits Sticker.
The free shipping flex
Two 8 oz candles + a card puts you over $35, so shipping is on us.
Order on time (we’ll help)
Orders ship from San Diego in 2 to 3 business days, and delivery takes 3 to 6 business days. Order about two weeks before the party and you are golden. Shipping is free on orders $35+, and if it is your first order, sign up for our emails and get 15% off.
Happy birthday to your favorite person. Make it a little weird.

Happy Fucking Birthday Candle

