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Gift guides
They survived the meetings, the reply-alls and the printer. Send them off with a gift that says what everyone is thinking.
The Strike + Burn team
Somebody in your office has been counting down to this day for years. They have sat through every meeting that should have been an email. They know where the good pens are hidden. Now they are walking out the door for good, and a sheet cake from the grocery store is not enough.
A funny retirement gift says what everyone is thinking: they earned this. Here are our picks for the send-off.
Quick picks for the party
The Fucking Over It Candle (Sweet Orange, Coconut and Passion Fruit) is the unofficial retirement candle. No speech needed. Put it on the cake table and let it do the talking.
Retirement is basically a very long weekend. Help them settle in:
I Need A Damn Break CandleCoffee · Cream · SugarFrom $14.99
Let That Shit Go CandleSea Salt · Driftwood · MossFrom $14.99
Exhale The Bullshit CandleLavender · EucalyptusFrom $14.99Our 8 oz jars ($19.99) burn about 60 hours, which is roughly one candle per binge-watched series. Every candle is a coconut-soy candle, made in-house in the USA.
Pocket Penis Rub Me & Make A Wish is a good luck card, and good luck is exactly what a retiree needs for the next adventure. It comes with a removable crystal penis keepsake, so they can rub it for luck on the golf course, the cruise ship or the couch. Pass it around the office and have everyone sign the blank back.
Stickers are $2.99 and made of waterproof, weatherproof vinyl, so they survive the new life on a cooler, a travel mug or an RV. The Fucking Over It Sticker and the Let That Shit Go Sticker are the retiree’s new motto.
Fucking Over It StickerStress Relief Humor$2.99
Let That Shit Go StickerTherapy Humor Decal$2.99
I Need A Damn Break StickerCoffee Break Humor$2.99Our humor is for adults, and not every break room is ready for it. If the retiree has a sense of humor and you know the crowd, go for it. If the CEO is giving a speech, maybe hand it over at the after-party.
Collecting money from the team? Two 8 oz candles plus a card comes in over $35, so shipping is free. Throwing a big send-off? We make custom candles with your own label for bachelorette, birthday and retirement parties, weddings and events, starting at 24 candles. Bulk pricing: 15% off 24 to 47 candles, 20% off 48 or more.
Orders ship from San Diego in 2 to 3 business days and arrive in 3 to 6 business days. Shipping is free on orders $35+, and first-time shoppers get 15% off when they sign up for our emails.
Keep reading
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Fucking Over It Candle
Pocket Penis Rub Me & Make A Wish
